What Little Children Teach Us About Joy

Rediscovering Happiness Through the Eyes of Grandchildren

When people ask me what excites me most these days, they often expect an answer about business deals, investment opportunities, or political developments. Instead, my answer is simple: watching our grandchildren play, laugh and interact.

There is something special about seeing little children at play. I watch our grandchildren—we are blessed with fourteen of them now, with another one on the way—and I see how cute they are, how the smallest things fill them with wonder, how a cardboard box can become a castle and a puddle a pool. I watch our own children becoming parents themselves, and I see their cousins playing together, and it brings back memories of when I was young, hanging out my own cousins around the neighborhood.

Here is something remarkable that we tend to forget as adults: little children laugh and smile hundreds of times a day. Hundreds. Adults manage only a small fraction of that. Somewhere along the way, between childhood and adulthood, we lose the simplicity of abundant joy. Perhaps we become serious, preoccupied, stressed by responsibilities, deadlines, and the weight of the world’s problems. We forget how to find delight in simple things. As we grow older, we tend to want more, expect more, and complicate more, when in reality happiness often comes from learning to appreciate what we already have rather than constantly chasing what we do not. In my experience, people who laugh often and have a good sense of humor are not only more enjoyable to be around—they also tend to be happier.

I think we can learn a lot from children and grandchildren.

One of the greatest joys of being a grandfather—being “Papa”—is that you get to experience childhood’s wonder all over again, but from a different vantage point. As a parent, your role necessarily involves discipline. Love without discipline is not enough. If you love them, you must be the one to discipline them—otherwise, someone in the world who does not love them will.

As a grandparent, though, the equation changes beautifully. It is our children’s job now to be the mom and the dad. I get to be Papa. I get to have fun and enjoy my time with our grandchildren—loving them, playing with them, and even spoiling them a bit—while their parents take on the daily responsibilities of raising, guiding them, and disciplining them. The gift is not avoiding responsibility; the gift is being freed to experience pure, uncomplicated love.

We love children, and we hate to see them suffer. This is one reason my wife, Maryellen, and I have supported the Cleveland Clinic Children’s Hospital over the years. There is nothing more noble than caring for a sick or injured child. When we have visited the hospital and see the dedicated nurses, doctors, and caregivers who pour their hearts into healing young patients, we are reminded of what truly matters in this world. These caregivers do ordinary things in extraordinary ways, bringing comfort and hope to families during their most difficult moments.

The simplicity of children offers us a powerful lesson about happiness. Research consistently shows that the happiest people are not those who accumulate the most— the most money, the most achievements, the most recognition. The happiest people are those who maintain strong relationships, who find meaning in serving others, and who cultivate gratitude for what they have rather than longing for what they lack. Children understand this instinctively. They do not need expensive gifts to be happy; they need presence, attention, and love.

Love is the most important thing in life. Children are always watching, far more than they are listening. They see how you treat others, how you respond in difficult times, and how you show compassion and patience. In many ways, the greatest responsibility we have is not what we say, but what we model. We must be the example.

A special priest I met years ago, Monsignor John Patrick Carroll-Abbing, who was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize and cared for 50,000 children throughout his life, once wrote me a letter. He said that the secret of happiness was to love, and the essence of love was to serve. That idea has shaped how I try to live, because love is not just something we feel; it is something we do. He added, “For every tear you wipe off a child’s face, you light up a star in the sky.” He was in his eighties when he shared that wisdom with me, and it has stayed with me ever since.

When I think about legacy—what I hope to leave behind—titles and accomplishments are not what come to mind. What matters are the simpler things: husband, father, grandfather, friend. These are the roles that bring the deepest satisfaction, the ones that will matter most when all is said and done. The Harvard Study of Adult Development, which followed people for 85 years, found that relationships were the key to fulfilling lives. Not wealth, not fame, not power—relationships.

From my experience watching fourteen grandchildren discover the world with fresh eyes, is simple: finding time to laugh more. Rediscovering wonder. Paying attention to the small miracles that surround us every day. Watching how children approach the world—with curiosity, openness, and an assumption that good things are possible—and letting them remind us of truths we may have forgotten.

But those lessons also come with responsibility. Be involved. Be present not only at home, but in their activities, their interests, and their daily lives. Time and attention are the greatest investments you can make in a child.

And instill in them a strong work ethic. Talent and opportunity will only take them so far. Character, discipline, and a willingness to work are what sustain success over a lifetime.

Havard Business Professor and writer, Arthur Brooks has written extensively about happiness, concluding that there are four essential pillars: faith, family, friends, and meaningful work, which he describes as earning success through service to others. These are the foundations of a fulfilling life. He also describes three key elements of happiness: simple pleasure, which comes from enjoying life’s small moments with others; meaning, which comes from living with a sense of coherence, purpose, and significance; and satisfaction, which comes from what you have worked to achieve. Purpose, ultimately, comes from perspective and peace.

Happiness is not a destination at which we arrive, it is something we learn along the way, in how we live, how we love, and how we serve others each day. We sometimes spend too much energy pursuing success, managing problems, and worrying about the future. Perhaps the greatest gift our grandchildren give us is the reminder to slow down, to be present, and to remember that joy is not something we must earn or achieve. It is something we receive when we open ourselves to the simplicity of loving, laughing and playing.