Set High Standards Then Lower Your Internal Expectations

Ten Suggestions to More Effectively Deal with Challenges in Life and Business

In life, the ability to manage stress, foster positive relationships and maintain well-being is essential for both personal and organizational success. I have identified ten suggestions that may be helpful.

• Set High Standards: Setting very high standards of your associates and team, you will achieve more by expecting more. At the same time, Internally Lower Your Expectations as they might not have the same abilities, motivations, passions and goals. It’s important to balance high standards with internally lowering expectations to protect our emotional well-being so we aren’t constantly disappointed, frustrated and upset.
• Effective Communication: Good communication is crucial in preventing misunderstandings. Upfront, clear and open conversations that both parties agree to can prevent assumptions and foster a supportive atmosphere. Being understood and understanding others creates a better sense of harmony.
• Rationality Over Emotion: Choosing to be rational rather than emotional helps in maintaining professional relationships. It can help us stay objective by focusing on what we are aiming to accomplish. Often, unnecessary drama becomes the unfortunate focus instead of achieving the goal and greater good.  Aim to keep track of the mission and goal—and try not to take things personally.
• Patience vs. Stubbornness: Knowing when to be patient and when to let go is crucial. If it is something meaningful that just takes more time, then be patient. Times in life when you think you are being patient, but you really don’t want to admit you made a mistake. Focusing on a mistake only adds to our stress. Recognize when it’s time to start seeking solutions. If we clearly make an error, then be intellectually honest and move forward.
• Learning from Failures: When we experience a setback, embrace the opportunity to reflect on what went wrong, why it went wrong and what could have been better—reflect, understand and grow. Take it as an opportunity to learn and move on. Sometimes the cover up is worse than the issue. Viewing failures as opportunities for growth can help reduce the fear of making mistakes. The lessons that we learn can help us grow, prosper and lead to more significant future success.
• Softening Statements: I have learned in life it is not always what you say, but HOW you say it. Using softening statements like “You know I like and respect you, but…” can help in delivering feedback without appearing aggressive. This approach reduces the potential for conflict as it doesn’t sound arrogant, condescending or disrespectful, but is likely to enhance the tone and outcome.
• Positive Relationships: Surrounding ourselves with positive, talented and loyal individuals fosters a supportive and motivating environment. We may come across people that are impossible to work with; that are not “win-win” and have a zero sums game mentality. When you have the ability, be selective on who you have around you. Spend time with people that want “win-win”.
• Always “The Who”: Who you marry, who you hire, who you invest in, who you do business with and who you associate with. If “the who” isn’t right, “the what” doesn’t matter. Developing an outstanding network of trusted and talented people can drive success, creating a more balanced and fulfilling life.
• Progress, Not Perfection: Learning is a lifelong journey, an ongoing commitment that is never truly completed. We are all works in progress. When we want everything to be perfect, we will never get anything done. At some point you have to say it’s good enough and move on.
• Focus on What Matters: A small percentage of decisions and actions really make the difference (Pareto Principle), so try to focus on those that will truly move the needle. Figure out the larger purpose and don’t get caught in what won’t affect the outcome. This approach can allow us to lead with greater clarity, success and enjoyment.